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Presents: Series 1

The first series of CFTP Presents saw a lot of... figuring ourselves out.  Editing style had not quite landed, graphics were still being worked out, and the less that can be said about the "Whistle" Theme Song, the better.

That said, there were a lot of absolute bangers for the movies, and the riffs themselves still stand the test of time (at least so far)

Battle Beyond The Sun

Cold War Era propoganda film about people lost through space, dying for no clear reason, and occasionaly encountering genetalia-shaped monsters.

Sisters of Death

A sorority intiation game of Russian Roulette goes... predictably wrong.  Now, years later, the survivors have been brought together to face their past - and an omnipresent boom mic.

The War of The Robots

Robots - or at least Sweedish people in silver Lamé - are trying to take over the universe in this Itallian Star Wars clone full of reused props, actors, effects, plots, and "laser swords"

S1E04 - JJMFD

Jessie James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter

One of the more famous cowboys squares up against a crazy science lady and her most diabolical creation, a guy with a rastafarian-painted colander on his head

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Return of the Kung Fu Dragon

I've seen this movie more times than I dare count, and yet, I still do not know what's actually going on in the movie.  But there's certainly a lot of it, whatever it is.

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Gamera vs Jiger

Long before MST3K revisited their flying turtle pal, we had our own go at this complicatedly stupid movie about two children in a sub giving a turtle an abortion

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Atomic Rules Of The World

An alien with superpowers is sent to Earth to defend us against... gangsters... and is nearly murdered by a car.  We love Car.

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The Werewolf Vs The Vampire Woman

A perfectly passable horror monster movie ruined by the fact that they spent all their budget on costumes and makeup and none of it on lighting

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The Curse of The Aztec Mummy

A sequel to a movie no one cares about made up mostly of stock footage and flashbacks to flashbacks. And whatever you do, stay out of the snake pit. Those snakes - they're expensive!

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The Fast And The Furious

No, not that one.

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Galaxy Invader

An innocent alien crash-lands in the wilds of rural West Virginia, where he is relentlessly stalked and attacked by drunken hillbillies.

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The Guy With The Secret Kung-Fu

"Wait, so... everybody was Kung Fu Fighting?  Even the dead guy?"

"Especially the dead guy."

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Space Transformer

For a movie title that's only two words long, every single one of them is a damn dirty lie.  Almost none of the movie is in space, and there are zero transformers.